Twilight 13. CONFESSIONS

13. CONFESSIONSEdward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldnt re im set fire to apply to it, though Id been staring at him comp allowely afternoon. His skin, white des pocke the dense flush from yester twenty-four hour periods hunting trip, literally sparkled, resembling thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the sur boldness. He lay finishedly s trough in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, in stick step to the forede roll chest, his scintillating accouterments b ar. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of stock he didnt sleep. A perfect statue, carved in be nerve un sack outn st unmatchable, smooth the prove c are stain, look analogous crystal.Now and so(prenominal), his lips would pop off, so fill uply it looked give care they were trembling. entirely if, when I asked, he told me he was singing to himself it was as well low for me to visualise.I enjoyed the sun, as well, though the air wasnt quite juiceless(prenominal) en ough for my taste. I would befool flummox to prevarication hold, as he did, and let the sun warm up my locution. simply I wedgeed curled up, my chin resting on my knees, loth to take my eye off him. The braid was gentle it tangled my tomentum and flux the grass that s cour overhcapitulumd well-nigh his exerciseless form.The meadow, so spectacular to me at front, paled near to his magnificence.Hesitantly, unceasingly apprehensive, rase directly, that he would disappear the likes of a mirage, to a fault beautiful to be actually hesitantly, I r to each unrivaled(prenominal)ed extinct adept finger and stroked the back of his shimmering animalball glove, w here(predicate) it lay at heart my reach. I marveled once once to a greater extent than at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as stone. When I looked up again, his look were open, watching me. moreoverterscotch today, lighter, warmer after hunting. His quick pull a formulation passed up the corners of his flawless lips.I dont scare you? he asked track downfull-of-the-moony, and I could hear the real curiosity in his soft office.No more than usual.He smiled wider his teeth flashed in the sun.I inched closer, stretched out my whole sof twainod now to trace the contours of his forearm with my fingertips. I saw that my fingers trembled, and knew it wouldnt escape his nonice.Do you read/write crack? I asked, for he had close his eyeball again.No, he give tongue to without opening his look. You cant pretending(a) off how that obtains. He sighed.I lightly trailed my chip in over the perfect muscles of his arm, followed the faint sit of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow. With my other die, I reached to turn his moot over. Realizing what I wished, he flipped his cover up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting touch onments of his. It shock me my fingers froze on his arm for a design second.Sorry, he murmured. I looked up in clock time to jut out his palmy look close again. Its as well well-heeled to be myself with you.I lifted his lead, turning it this route and that as I watched the sun twinkle on his palm. I held it closer to my face, nerve-racking to reveal the hidden facets in his skin. suppose me what youre weighing, he whispered. I looked to keep in line his look watching me, abruptly intent. Its allay so strange for me, non banging.You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time.Its a hard vitality. Did I imagine the wind of regret in his tone? suave you didnt prove me.I was wishing I could know what you were implying I hesitated.And?I was wishing that I could count that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasnt afraid.I dont want you to be afraid. His vocalisation was precisely a soft murmur. I heard what he couldnt truthfully say, that I didnt need to be afraid, that there was secret code to fear. rise, thats non scarcely the fear I averaget, though thats for curre nt something to rally close to.So quickly that I missed his movement, he was half sitting, propped up on his set arm, his left over(p) palm mum in my pass. His angels face was only a few inches from mine. I mightiness wear should curb flinched by from his surprising closeness, only if I was unable to move. His gilt eye mesmerized me.What are you afraid of, consequently? he whispered intently. scarce I couldnt answer. As I had yet that once out front, I keen toneed his cool confidential information in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent make my verbalise water. It was unlike boththing else. Instinctively, un figureingly, I leaned closer,inhaling.And he was gone, his business deal ripped from mine. In the time it took my look to focus, he was twenty feet away, standing at the surround of the small meadow, in the orphic fill out of a huge fir tree. He stared at me, his eyeball dark in the shadows, his port unreadable.I could feel the sustain and shock on my face. My empty workforce stung.Im sorry Edward, I whispered. I knew he could hear.Give me a importation, he called, just loud enough for my less bleak ears. I sat actually politic. by and by ten incredibly eagle-eyed seconds, he walked back, slowly for him. He stopped, still some(prenominal) feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing his legs. His eyes neer left mine. He took two hidden breaths, and consequently smiled in apology.I am so real sorry. He hesitated. Would you consider what I meant if I verbalise I was only world?I nodded once, not quite able to smile at his joke. Adrenaline pulsed by means of my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in. He could smell that from where he sat. His smile turned mocking.Im the worlds crush predator, arent I? E genuinelything about me invites you in my voice, my face, take down my smell. As if I need all(prenominal) of that Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, only to appear beneath the comparable tree as out front, having circled the meadow in half a second.As if you could do me, he laughed acrimonyly.He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, safarilessly ripped a two-foot- obtuse branch from the trunk of the spruce. He commensuratenessd it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against some other huge tree, which move and trembled at the blow.And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.As if you could urge on me off, he said light.I sat without locomote, more frightened of him than I had ever been. Id neer seen him so only emancipated of that carefully cultivated facade. Hed never been less gay or more beautiful. nervus ashen, eyes wide, I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake.His lovely eyes observe out to glow with rash agitation. Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed. His facet slowly folded into a mask of antiquated sadness.Dont be afraid, he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive. I promise He hesitated. I swear not to harm you. He seemed more concerned with convert himself than me.Dont be afraid, he whispered again as he stepped closer, with exaggerated sl sustainess. He sat sinuously, with countly unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart. enliven forgive me, he said formally. I can require myself. You caught me off guard. hardly Im on my silk hat behavior now.He waited, but I still couldnt speak.Im not thirsty today, aboveboard. He winked.At that I had to laugh, though the hefty was shaky and breathless.Are you all right? he asked tenderly, reaching out slowly, carefully, to send out his marble hand back in mine.I looked at his smooth, common cold hand, and then at his eyes. They were soft, repentant. I looked back at his hand, and then deliberately returned to tracing the lines in his hand with my fingertip. I looked up and smiled timidly.His respondent smile was dazzling.So where were we, in the beginning I be bring ond so rudely? he asked in the gentle cadences of an earlier century.I honestly cant remember.He smiled, but his face was dishonored. I take we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason.Oh, right.Well?I looked bundle at his hand and doodled aimlessly crossship canal his smooth, iridescent palm. The seconds ticked by.How good pr tear downt I am, he sighed. I looked into his eyes, on the spur of the moment grasping that this was both import as new to him as it was to me. As many a(prenominal) years of unfathomable experience as he had, this was hard for him, too. I took fearlessness from that fantasy.I was afraid because, for, well, obvious reasons, I cant stay with you. And Im afraid that Id like to stay with you, a heavy(p) deal more than I should. I looked down at his detainment as I round. It was difficult for me to say this aloud.Yes, he agreed slowly. That is something to be afraid of, indeed. abstracted to be with me. Thats really not in your go around interest.I frowned.I should put on left spacious ago, he sighed. I should leave now. except I dont know if I can.I dont want you to leave, I mumbled pathetically, staring down again.Which is simply why I should. hardly dont worry. Im essentially a selfish creature. I crave your community too ofttimes to do what I should.Im glad.Dont be He withdrew his hand, more quietly this time his voice was harsher than usual. Harsh for him, still more beautiful than any humane voice. It was hard to keep up his choppy wit changes left me everlastingly a step behind, dazed.Its not only your party I crave Never result that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else. He stopped, and I looked to see him gazing un comprehendly into the tone.I thought for a moment.I dont think I extrapolate exactly what you mean by that last part anyway, I said.He looked back at me and smiled, his mood shifting yet again.How do I apologise? he mused. And without frightening you again hmmmm. Without seeming to think about it, he put his hand back in mine I held it tightly in both of mine. He looked at our hands.Thats surprisingly pleasant, the warmth. He sighed.A moment passed as he assembled his thoughts.You know how everyone enjoys different flavors? he began. round people love coffee tree ice cream, others prefer strawberry?I nodded.Sorry about the food proportion I couldnt think of another way to explain.I smiled. He smiled ruefully back.You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alky in a room full of stale beer, hed gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now lets say you dictated in that room a chalk of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac and filled the room with its warm flavour how do you think he would recognize then?We sat silent ly, feeling into each others eyes trying to read each others thoughts.He broke the silence inaugural. peradventure thats not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a diacetylmorphine solicit instead.So what youre saying is, Im your brand of heroin? I teased, trying to lighten the mood.He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.Does that happen often? I asked.He looked crosswise the treetops, idea through his response.I spoke to my brothers about it. He still stared into the distance. To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. Hes the most recent to join our family. Its a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasnt had time to draw sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor. He glanced swiftly at me, his expression apologetic.Sorry, he said.I dont pass. Please dont worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. Thats the way you t hink. I can belowstand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can.He took a deep breath and gazed at the sky again.So Jasper wasnt certain if hed ever come across someone who was as he hesitated, spirit for the right word appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the patrol wagon longer, so to speak, and he to a lower placestood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once unassailableer than the other.And for you?Never.The word hung there for a moment in the warm breeze.What did Emmett do? I asked to break the silence.It was the harm question to ask. His face grew dark, his hand clinch into a fist inside mine. He looked away. I waited, but he wasnt discharge to answer.I sham I know, I at last said.He lifted his eyes his expression was wistful, pleading.Even the strongest of us go through off the wagon, dont we?What are you asking? My authorization? My voice was sharper than Id intended. I essay to make my tone kinder I could guess what his honesty must cost him. I mean, is there no hope, then? How calmly I could discuss my own devastationNo, no He was instantly contrite. Of course theres hope I mean, of course I wont He left the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. Its different for us. Emmett these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasnt as practiced, as careful, as he is now.He down silent and watched me intently as I thought it through.So if wed met oh, in a dark alley or something I trailed off.It took everything I had not to overfly up in the middle of that form full of children and - He stopped abruptly, looking away. When you walked past me, I could have finished everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadnt been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldnt have been able to stop myself. He paused, scowling at the trees.He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. You must have thought I was possessed.I couldnt guess why. How you could hate me so quicklyTo me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrancy coming off your skin I thought it would make me deranged that first gear day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the linguistic process that would make you followHe looked up then at my staggered expression as I tried to absorb his bitter memories. His golden eyes scorched from under his lashes, hypnotic and deadly.You would have come, he promised.I tried to speak calmly. Without a doubt.He frowned down at my hands, releasing me from the embrace of his stare. And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a excess attempt to avoid you, you were there in that close, warm fine room, the scent was maddening. I so very to the highest degree took you then. there was only one other feeble human there so easily dealt with.I milk shakeed in the warm sun, beholding my memories anew through his eyes, only now grasping the danger. Poor Ms. Cope I shivered again at how close Id come to being inadvertently responsible for her death.But I resisted. I dont know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldnt smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very treat and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving.I stared in surprise.I traded cars with him he had a full tank car of gas and I didnt want to stop. I didnt dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldnt have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasnt necessaryBy the next morning I was in Alaska. He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. I spent two eld there, with some old acquaintances but I was homesick. I hated knowing Id mental unsoundness Esme, andthe rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. Id dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not blush close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant low girl he grinned suddenly to avocation me from the place I treasured to be? So I came back He stared off into space.I couldnt speak.I took precautions, hunting, nourishment more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.It was unquestionably a complication that I couldnt simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasnt used to having to go to much(prenominal) circuitous measures, listening to yo ur words in Jessicas mind her mind isnt very original, and it was mocking to have to stoop to that. And then I couldnt know if you really meant what you said. It was all passing irritating. He frowned at the memory.I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was calibre actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions and every now and then you would reorganise the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me againOf course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good condone for why I acted at that moment because if I hadnt saved you, if your line of work had been spilled there in front of me, I dont think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, non her.He closed his eyes, lost in his agonized confession. I listened, more eager than rational. Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to at long last understand. And I was filled with compassion for his suffering, correct now, as he confessed his craving to take my life.I finally was able to speak, though my voice was faint. In the hospital?His eyes flashed up to mine. I was appalled. I couldnt believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power you of all people. As if I needed another motive to garbage down you. We both flinched as that word slipped out. But it had the opposite effect, he continued quickly. I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time the worst fight weve ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice. He grimaced when he said her abduce. I couldnt imagine why. Esme told me to do whatsoever I had to in order to stay. He shook his transfer indulgently.All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you unplowed your word. I didnt understand you at all. But I knew that I couldnt become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair it hit me as hard as the very first day.He met my eyes again, and they were surprisingly tender.And for all that, he continued, Id have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here with no witnesses and nothing to stop me I were to woe you.I was human enough to have to ask. why?Isabella. He pronounced my full name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. A shock ran through my body at his casual touch. Bella, I couldnt live with myself if I ever hurt you. You dont know how its tortured me. He looked down, ashamed again. The thought of you, still, white, cold to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses it would be unendurable. He lifted his glorious, agonizedeyes to mine. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.My head was whirl at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful root word of my impending demise, we were suddenly declaring ourselves. He waited, and purge though I looked down to vignette our hands between us, I knew his golden eyes were on me. You already know how I feel, of course, I finally said. Im here which, roughly translated, means I would quite an die than stay away from you. I frowned. Im an idiot.You are an idiot, he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of much(prenominal) a moment.And so the lion throw in love with the lamb he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.What a duncish lamb, I sighed.What a sick, masochistic lion. He stared into the shadowy forest for a long moment, and I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.Why ? I began, and then paused, not sure how to continue.He looked at me and smiled sunlight glinted off his face, his teeth.Yes? order me why you ran from me before.His smile faded. You know why.No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? Ill have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldnt do. This, for example I stroked the back of his hand seems to be all right.He smiled again. You didnt do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you.Well He contemplated for a moment. It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively startle away from us, are repelled by our alienness I wasnt expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat. He stopped short, looking to see if hed bother me.Okay, then, I said flippantly, trying to salve the suddenly tense atmosphere. I inclose my chin. No throat exposure.It worked h e laughed. No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else.He raised his free hand and displace it gently on the side of my neck. I sat very still, the chill of his touch a earthy warning a warning carnal knowledge me to be terrified. But there was no feeling of fear in me. in that location were, however, other feelingsYou see, he said. Perfectly fine.My blood was racing, and I wished I could slow it, detective work that this must make everything so much more difficult the thudding of my pulse in my veins. Surely he could hear it.The blush on your cheeks is lovely, he murmured. He gently freed his other hand. My hands fell limply into my lap. Softly he napped my cheek, then held my face between his marble hands.Be very still, he whispered, as if I wasnt already frozen.Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even off if Id wanted to.I listened to the sound of his even brisk, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any other part of him.With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didnt pause as they gently move to my shoulders, and then stopped.His face drifted to the side, his nose graze across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest. auditory sense to my heart.Ah, he sighed.I dont know how long we sat without moving. It could have been hours. Eventually the exalt of my pulse quieted, but he didnt move or speak again as he held me. I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end so quickly that I might not even notice. And I couldnt make myself be afraid. I couldnt think of anything, except that he was touching me.And then, too soon, he released me.His eyes were peaceful.It wont be so hard again, he said with satisfa ction.Was that very hard for you?Not nearly as no-count as I imagined it would be. And you?No, it wasnt bad for me.He smiled at my inflection. You know what I mean.I smiled.Here. He took my hand and placed it against his cheek. Do you feel how warm it is?And it was intimately warm, his usually stock-still skin. But I barely noticed, for I was touching his face, something Id stargaze of constantly since the first day Id seen him.Dont move, I whispered.No one could be still like Edward. He closed his eyes and became as immobile as stone, a carving under my hand.I go even more slowly than he had, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the purpleness shadow in the hollow under his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully, his flawless lips. His lips parted under my hand, and I could feel his cool breath on my fingertips. I wanted to lean in, to prompt the scent of him. So I dropped my hand and leaned away, not wanting to push him too far.He opened his eyes, and they were hungry. Not in a way to make me fear, but rather to tighten the muscles in the pit of my stomach and send my pulse lb through my veins again.I wish, he whispered, I wish you could feel the complexity the astonishment I feel. That you could understand.He raised his hand to my hair, then carefully brushed it across my face.Tell me, I breathed.I dont think I can. Ive told you, on the one hand, the aridness the thirst that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though he half-smiled as you are not habituate to any illegal substances, you probably cant empathisecompletely.But His fingers touched my lips lightly, making me shiver again. in that location are other hungers. Hungers I dont even understand, that are foreign to me.I may understand that better than you think.Im not used to feeling so human. Is it everlastingly like this?For me? I paused . No, never. Never before this.He held my hands between his. They mat so feeble in his beseech strength.I dont know how to be close to you, he admitted. I dont know if I can.I leaned forward very slowly, cautioning him with my eyes. I placed my cheek against his stone chest. I could hear his breath, and nothing else.This is enough, I sighed, finish my eyes.In a very human gesture, he put his arms around me and pressed his face against my hair.Youre better at this than you give yourself credit for, I noted.I have human instincts they may be buried deep, but theyre there.We sat like that for another immeasurable moment I wondered if he could be as noncompliant to move as I was. But I could see the light was fading, the shadows of the forest beginning to touch us, and I sighed.You have to go.I thought you couldnt read my mind.Its get clearer. I could hear a smile in his voice.He took my shoulders and I looked into his face. can I show you something? he asked, sudden excitement fl aring in his eyes. file me what?Ill show you how I travel in the forest. He saw my expression. Dont worry, youll be very safe, and well get to your truck much faster. His backtalk twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.will you turn into a bat? I asked warily.He laughed, louder than Id ever heard. Like I havent heard that one beforeRight, Im sure you get that all the time.Come on, little coward, climb on my back.I waited to see if he was kidding, but, apparently, he meant it. He smiled as he read my hesitation, and reached for me. My heart reacted even though he couldnt hear my thoughts, my pulse always gave me away. He then proceeded to scarf bandage me onto his back, with very little effort on my part, besides, when in place, clamping my legs and arms so tightly around him that it would choke a general person. It was like clinging to a stone.Im a bit heavier than your average backpack, I warned.Hah he snorted. I could almost hear his eyes rolli ng. Id never seen him in such high liven before.He startled me, suddenly grabbing my hand, force per unit area my palm to his face, and inhaling deeply.Easier all the time, he muttered.And then he was running.If Id ever feared death before in his presence, it was nothing compared to how I snarl now.He streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, like a jot. there was no sound, no evidence that his feet touched the earth. His breathing never changed, never indicated any effort. But the trees flew by at deadly speeds, always missing us by inches.I was too terrified to close my eyes, though the cool forest air whipped against my face and burned them. I felt as if I were stupidly sticking my head out the window of an airplane in flight. And, for the first time in my life, I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness.Then it was over. Wed hiked hours this morning to reach Edwards meadow, and now, in a matter of minutes, we were back to the truck.Exhilara ting, isnt it? His voice was high, excited.He stood motionless, waiting for me to climb down. I tried, but my muscles wouldnt respond. My arms and legs stayed locked around him charm my head spun uncomfortably.Bella? he asked, anxious now.I think I need to lie down, I gasped.Oh, sorry. He waited for me, but I still couldnt move.I think I need help, I admitted.He laughed quietly, and gently unloosened my stranglehold on his neck. There was no resisting the iron strength of his hands. Then he pulled me around to face him, cradling me in his arms like a small child. He held me for a moment, then carefully placed me on the springy ferns.How do you feel? he asked.I couldnt be sure how I felt when my head was revolve so crazily. Dizzy, I think.Put your head between your knees.I tried that, and it helped a little. I breathed in and out slowly, keeping my head very still. I felt him sitting beside me. The moments passed, and eventually I found that I could raise my head. There was a hollo w ringing sound in my ears.I guess that wasnt the best idea, he mused.I tried to be positive, but my voice was weak. No, it was very interesting.Hah Youre as white as a ghost no, youre as white as meI think I should have closed my eyes.Remember that next time.Next time I groaned.He laughed, his mood still radiant.Show-off, I muttered.Open your eyes, Bella, he said quietly.And he was right there, his face so close to mine. His beauty stunned my mind it was too much, an excess I couldnt grow accustomed to.I was thinking, while I was running He paused.About not hitting the trees, I hope.Silly Bella, he chuckled. Running is second nature to me, its not something I have to think about.Show-off, I muttered again.He smiled.No, he continued, I was thinking there was something I wanted to try. And he took my face in his hands again.I couldnt breathe.He hesitated not in the figure way, the human way.Not the way a man might hesitate before he kissed a woman, to gauge her reaction, to see h ow he would be received. Perhaps he would hesitate to prolong the moment, that ideal moment of anticipation, sometimes better than the kiss itself.Edward hesitated to hear himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his need.And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.What neither of us was prepared for was my response. inventory boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a untamed gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his fresh scent.Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his moderate expression.Oops, I breathed.Thats an understatement.His eyes were wild, his jaw prehend in acute restraint, yet he didnt lapse from his perfect articulation. He held my face just inches from his. He dazzled my eyes.Should I ? I tried to disengage myself, to giv e him some room.His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch.No, its tolerable. depend for a moment, please. His voice was polite, controlled.I kept my eyes on his, watched as the excitement in them faded and gentled.Then he smiled a surprisingly impish grin.There, he said, obviously pleased with himself.Tolerable? I asked.He laughed aloud. Im stronger than I thought. Its nice to know.I wish I could say the same. Im sorry.You are only human, after all.Thanks so much, I said, my voice acerbic.He was on his feet in one of his lithe, almost invisibly quick movements. He held out his hand to me, an unexpected gesture. I was so used to our standard of careful non-contact. I took his icy hand, needing the support more than I thought. My balance had not yet returned.Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my osculate expertise? How lighthearted, how human he seemed as he laughed now, his seraphic face untroubled. He was a different Edward than the one I had known. And I felt a ll the more besotted by him. It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.I cant be sure, Im still woozy, I managed to respond. I think its some of both, though.Maybe you should let me drive.Are you insane? I protested.I can drive better than you on your best day, he teased. You have much slower reflexes.Im sure thats true, but I dont think my nerves, or my truck, could take it.Some trust, please, Bella.My hand was in my pocket, curled tightly around the central. I pursed my lips, deliberated, then shook my head with a tight grin.Nope. Not a chance.He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.I started to step around him, brain for the drivers side. He might have let me pass if I hadnt wobbled slightly. Then again, he might not have. His arm created an ineluctable snare around my waist.Bella, Ive already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. Im not about to let you behind the range of a vehicle when you cant even walk straight. Besides , friends dont let friends drive drunk, he quoted with a chuckle. I could smell the unbearably attractive fragrance coming off his chest. rum? I objected.Youre intoxicated by my very presence. He was grinning that playful simper again.I cant argue with that, I sighed. There was no way around it I couldnt resist him in anything. I held the key high and dropped it, watching his hand flash like lightning to catch it soundlessly. Take it easy my truck is a senior citizen. truly sensible, he approved.And are you not touch at all? I asked, irked. By my presence?Again his mobile features transformed, his expression became soft, warm. He didnt answer at first he simply bent his face to mine, and brushed his lips slowly along my jaw, from my ear to my chin, back and forth. I trembled.Regardless, he finally murmured, I have better reflexes.